At Spyder, there's no such thing as 'too fast'.
| Bugatti. Lockheed Martin. Spyder. What do these companies all have in common? Each is known to make products that help humans travel at ridiculous speeds. At Spyder, we even made a racing suit so fast it got banned by skiing's international governing body, FIS. Professional skiers are, to our knowledge, not superheroes. It has been well documented, however, that they literally fly at speeds forbidden on any road besides the Autobahn when wearing our suits, and it just so happens that Picabo Street was busy racking up World Cup wins in Spyder's Speedwyre suit at the time*. The Speedwyre was subsequently shelved forever after… That is, until Spyder athlete Jared Goldberg decided it deserved a few practice runs a couple weeks ago in Zermatt, Switzerland. *We've been counseled not to comment further on our involvement in helping skiers to fly, since we constantly forget to warn domestic and international air traffic control centers ahead of races. | | | Thanks to Jared's insight, our design team has been back at work designing the next generation of Spyder racing suits to push the boundaries of technological innovation in the world of ski racing. One detail, which is no secret at all, is that American racers' suits could be likened more closely to superhero suits than to anything resembling ski wear. As much as we'd love to tell you about the newest Spyder technology, dubbed the [redacted], we've got to keep a couple secrets to ourselves in order for our athletes to be most successful. One thing we're happy to disclose, however, is that we fully expect to see Americans on the Olympic podium in 2022. *The name of the next industry-disrupting Spyder suit had to be redacted after an intern nearly revealed it while it remains in testing. We revoked his security clearance. | | | | | | | | | Please Unsubscribe if you do not want us to contact you any more with information about our goods and services. Please note that we may still have to contact you with service-related updates (for example, product safety alerts or recalls)
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